Does God Really Give His Toughest Battles to His Strongest Warriors?

Or are we tougher because of the battles we've had too fight?

When I had two miscarriages, I thought, This must be the hardest thing a woman could face. Then came Kamsi’s diagnosis. My world stopped. I remember thinking, What could possibly be worse?

Then came the stillbirth. It felt like the end. But life wasn’t done yet—another diagnosis for Kachi.

From the outside, it might seem impossible to survive so much heartbreak that you couldn’t possibly do it.

But from where I sit, I still marvel at how others can navigate some challenges—those fighting cancer, grieving the loss of a parent, or weathering storms I can’t even imagine.

Here’s one thing I’ve come to understand: everyone is fighting something.

That Phrase We All Hear

“God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors.”

How many times have you heard that? I lost count somewhere in 2022. People meant well—they were trying to encourage us. Maybe they wanted us to feel better, believing we had some kind of special strength or place in God’s heart.

But those words didn’t bring me peace.

Instead, they raised a million questions:

• Does God really give battles?

• What makes someone a “strong warrior”?

• And if my struggles seem smaller, does that mean I’m not strong?

I couldn’t just accept the phrase and move on. So, I wrestled with it—and this is what I found.

The Truth About Life’s Battles

God doesn’t hand out suffering. He doesn’t have a cosmic list of people to test. Even in the story of Job, the pain didn’t come from God.

What does bring me comfort is this promise:

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to help you come through it."
1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)

Here’s what that means:

We all face battles. The only reason someone else’s struggle might seem harder is that you haven’t built the capacity to face it yet. What feels unbearable today could one day be part of your strength story.

Shifting the Narrative

My husband has this saying: “Always commonize your problems.”

At first, I hated it. It felt dismissive. But over time, I realized the truth behind it.

Nothing we face is entirely unique. That doesn’t mean our pain isn’t real—it means we’re not alone in it. Someone else has faced something similar and found a way through. And so can we.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Shift Your Perspective.
  If it’s out of your control, stop letting it steal your peace. If it’s something you can change, take the first step.

• Don’t Let Gloom Win.
  Helplessness grows when we isolate ourselves. Open up. Talk to someone. Move toward hope, one small step at a time.

• There’s Always a Way Out.
  Every challenge comes with a solution, a lesson, or a chance to grow. Look for it—you’ll find it.

Finding Strength

Today, I sit here grateful.

Kamsi is alive, thriving, and defying every expectation. Kachi fills our days with laughter. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s full of purpose and meaning.

Whatever you’re facing, remember this:

• You are stronger than you think.

• There’s help if you’re willing to look for it.

• Solutions exist, even if they take time to find.

So, what will you do today? Will you let life push you into a corner, or will you rise?

Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.